Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Holy Week

This is a very spiritual time of year for me. This year I am especially reflective because I have spent the last 7 months going through the RCIA process, which is Rite of Catholic Initiation for Adults. In other words, I have spent this year in the conversion process from Missouri Synod Lutheran to Catholic.

This was a life-changing decision for me. I spent all of my life as a Lutheran and never thought about changing to a different religion. That changed, of course, when I met Randy. Through college and while we were engaged, we usually went to Catholic church. I'm not sure why we defaulted to that; perhaps because of the Saturday night services (?). After we were married, we only went to Catholic church together. We discussed my becoming Catholic, but never seriously until late last summer (2009). We found out I was pregnant in July and it seemed like the natural next step for our family. We wanted to baptize our child as a family of one religion.

I began the RCIA process in September with Randy as my sponsor. We went to classes every Thursday night for several hours. Sometimes the nights got long, especially when we had to sacrifice other things that were maybe more fun, but they were definitely worth it. We have grown as a couple through this process and I think we have both learned a lot.

This Saturday night, at 8 p.m., I will become Catholic. I've still got some work to do this week insofar as getting myself emotionally ready for the process. I've been so busy with my baby girl, work, grad school, etc., that I haven't been as centered as I'd like. I'm not sure how I'll react Saturday night when I am fully initiated - though this is an exciting step in all of our lives (mine, Randy's, Quinn's), there is still a grieving process involved as I leave a part of my old self behind.  I can't help but feel sad knowing that I'll never take communion as a Lutheran again; I wonder, also, how I'll feel when I step into Zion Lutheran Church in Arcadia, the church in which I was baptized, confirmed, and married. I have a feeling that the next time I go to church there with my mom will be a tough morning.

Anyway, to focus on the future....I am nervous, excited, overwhelmed...everything. Wish me luck during the rest of the week as we attend Holy Week services and I prepare myself more fully for the next step in my spiritual life!

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